 WOOOOOOOOO!!!
Now, I'm a wrestling fan. You could say I'm a "wrestling mark". It's always been a controversial form of entertainment. Nonetheless, it's been a booming business attracting millions upon millions. Way before the big WWFE purchase of the WCW, there was the NWA. No, not the rap group! The National Wrestling Alliance. That was the high point of professional wrestling. Instead of the strange soap opera that goes on nowadays, they had actual wrestling matches. They performed in the ring with an array of holds, slams, and other feats, and they'd do it for a lot more than the 5-minute quick matches the WWF gives you nowadays. It was wrestling, pure and simple. It was choreographed, but they didn't need the "storyline". However, for a huge mark like me, this game seemed to break all the boundaries of professional wrestling. Apparently, this game knew more about wrestling than the wrestlers themselves...
The game isn't that fun. With as much respect as I do of the glory days of the WCW, it's that friggin' FCI that got to me. Horrible controls, awful sound, and an AI that's always ahead of you twelve steps of the way is not my idea of fun. Even with a legend like Ric Flair.
Sound: "WORL' CHAMP'N'SHIP RESLIN'" is what you are forced to hear every time you start this game. And the music will aggrivate you. And if it doesn't, you're either deaf or a titan. Control: I still don't know how they work. It doesn't matter, though. The computer always has the upper hand. I guess it's because the computer doesn't need a controller. Fun: It should be a 0.5, but Ric Flair is in it, so I gave it two more points. Satisfied?  |
Now, back in the NWA and early WCW eras, there was a group known as "The Four Horsemen". Want to know how I thought up of this site's name? Yup, these guys! The Horsemen consisted of greats such as "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair, a.k.a. (insert a number, because the record books are weird on this; between 13 and 20) World Heavyweight Champion, "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson, a.k.a. the greatest professional wrestler of all time, Ole "The Rock" Anderson, a.k.a. the guy whose nickname was stolen by Dwayne Johnson, and Tully Blanchard, a.k.a. best tag team champion with Arn Anderson, with their manager J.J. Dillon, a.k.a. the guy who would distract the ref and bust the Horsemen's opponents with his huge diamond ring on his fist. This game stars only one Horseman, namely, Ric Flair. He was the master of the Figure Four Leglock. Or so I thought. Apparently, he is the master of the Jumping Neck Breaker Drop, a move I have never heard of, nor has any wrestling fan. The game also stars that WWF Metal/Jakked announcer Michael Hayes, the $5.00 jobber Mike Rotundo, legendary Ric Flair punching bag Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, "The Total Package Of Crap" Lex Luger, the talentless half of the Steiner Brothers tag team Rick Steiner, both Hawk and Animal of the Road Warriors that did that lame "Hawk-Suicide Gimmick" in the WWF that no one believed, the Oklahoma hillbilly "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, the guy that makes Lex Luger look like a mediocre star Sting, midgit jobber Kevin Sullivan, and the late Eddie Gilbert. Such a large list would call for a great game, right?
Well, after you choose your characters, which I know will be Sting and maybe Ric Flair, you choose the moves they will use. So Ric Flair can use a Bulldog, Kevin Sullivan can use a Boston Crab, and Mike Rotundo can get fired by WCW for the fifth time for not being a big name. Then the match begins. In this game, the referee is invisible, and only becomes visible when someone gets pinned. The matches consist of sticking your foot or fist forward and hoping someone runs into it. Sometimes, you fight outside of the ring. As most Ric Flair fans, like me, know, Ric Flair is dangerous outside of the ring. Why? Because he is "The Dirtiest Player In The Game!", that's why! When he's outside, he starts working his cheating magic. But in this game, the outside is just like the inside of the ring, only someone in the pixelated crowd throws you a wrench every now and then. That's right! See, FCI knows more about wrestling than anyone else. They know that wrestlers don't use folding chairs! They use wrenches! And when you hit someone in the head with a wrench, the wrench flys off your hand like a bird.
Okay, so the game isn't that great. FCI knows jack squat about wrestling. Heck, even the guy living in the dumpster at the back of that Arbys down the road knows more about wrestling than FCI. So they have Ric Flair in the game. That's great, only his finishers are the Figure Four Leglock and the Flying Knee Drop, not the imaginary move called the "Jumping Neck Breaker Drop". They had a few legends that are far better than todays stars. But there's one final piece of the puzzle that FCI was missing in this game. ALL FOUR HORSEMEN! What's a wrestling game without "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson? Heck, he beat Hulk Hogan two Monday Nitros in a row! His retirement speech was the most emotional promo ever in the history of professional wrestling. But I guess FCI knows more about wrestling than even the most intelligent mark out there.