Most NES players have heard of this game. It was featured in the 16th issue of the ever-popular magazine for NES players, Nintendo Power. Maniac Mansion was a PC game originally, but it made it's way to the NES thanks to the guys at Jaleco, who made a ton of crappy and/or mediocre games including but not limited to City Connection, which I believe is Jaleco's best game. I, personally, have a love/hate relationship with this game. I can't beat it if my life depended on it, as I lack the attention span and patience for this game, yet I'm intrigued by it at the same time, as it keeps calling me like a non-police siren. Since my opinion on this game is a bit muddled, I thought I'd share some snippets of the issue of Nintendo Power that showcased the game. If something is in quotation marks for the rest of this review, that means it is a direct quote from the magazine! If you have a copy of that very issue of Nintendo Power, join in on this crazy madcap fun!

Teenagers are scary.

So what happens is that Sandy, some chick in some down, gets kidnapped or something by these weird folks in this maniacal mansion. They are sort of like The Addams Family only they have a more 1980s style to them. According to Nintendo Power, "SOMETHING STRANGE IS GOING ON IN THIS HOUSE". So, three teenagers of varying high school stereotypes take it upon themselves to do the responsible and sensible thing: break into the house and save their friend. That reminds me... My neighbor still has my copy of Evil Dead. I should probably break into his one-story house and save my movie. Unfortunately, the creepy family of blue folks that live in the mansion are, get this, INSIDE THE MANSION! Holy crap! As Nintendo Power is the ultimate source of information, they have the scoop on the crazy mansion family: "Each member of the Maniac Mansion family have their own room. Except for Dr. Fred, they're usually at home, too, so you'll have to be careful going inside." Thanks for the hot tip! I hope you joined the Nintendo Fun Club today, kids, because this is hot stuff, dude! Totally radical, and only $15 U.S. for a one-year subscription! As big N puts it, "SAVE BIG ON THE POWER!" "PLUS... GET POWER TO BURN WITH BACK ISSUES AND TIP BOOKS!"

"Why the blue faces? Don't hold your breath to find out."

The house is huge, by the way. As NP puts it, "It's not much but it's roomy and it has a pool, not to mention that it's nuclear powered." Thanks for the info, guys! The rooms that are in the house are all marked on the NP's very own map of stuff! There is a "DINING ROOM", a "KITCHEN", as weel as a "DARKROOM" and an "UNDER HOUSE", whatever that is. But beware of this house, because you are trespassing, and Nintendo warns us with the following quote: "WARNING: Tresspassers Will Have Their Brain Fluids Sucked Dry". Big N saves us yet again with a handy dandy insider tip! Well, this is a point-and-click game, so you'll have to solve puzzle with the three teenage trespassers, so all these rooms will have the standard "items that help you solve puzzles" lying about, as well as a few things that are total crap. As Nintendo explains, "Sure, a chainsaw in the kitchen is stylish, but what about the broken record or Chuck the Plant? Believe it or not, some of this stuff has no use in the game." Thanks again... And... What the hell is a "Chuck the Plant", anyway? There are so many things in this game that it's no wonder I'm not agile enough to power through this game, even with the help of the almighty Nintendo Power issue on my side. Well, I'm getting bored, so let's turn to page 22... The Top 30 NES games of September/October 1990! Number one is Super Mario Bros. 3, followed by Final Fantasy and then Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

"I'm bored, dude."

Well, the magazine ain't exactly helping me, is it? These screenshots of the game in this review are the highlights of my adventure through this game with the aid of my trusty Nintendo Power, and all I had accomplished was a successful game of "Ding Dong Ditch" under my manly belt. Let's try to finish this review, shall we? Okay, I forgot to mention the six main hero teenage characters because I figured they were all pretty boring teenage stereotypes. As the NP explains, "They're your average American teenage kids facing danger and alien brain-melting experiments. Each kid has his or her own special talent that will help save Sandy, but it's up to you to figure out how to use those talents. Don't worry about choosing a poor team. Every possible combination of heroes is able to rescue Sandy and send the Meteor packing." What? Wait... What Meteor? Did I miss something or what? Damn, I'm a lazy, bored bastard. So... Here are the kids... Dave is the main guy, and you will ALWAYS have him on your team. Then there is Razor: "She's a Rock 'n Roll maniac who wouldn't say no to an alien starting up an all mutant band." Also, there is Syd: "With keyboards or a guitar, Syd is a happy guy, but he's tone deaf. The Green Tentacle could give him some tips." Jeff is an airhead, but "He's one awesome dude, dude! His thing is making tubular connections with phones and totally gnarly waves." Bernard is your token nerd "With an IQ that reads like the national debt, Bernard can do anything. Electronics is his special field of interest." And then there is Wendy, who writes, and Michael, who is black. There you go! The Dream Team!

Since I got bored really fast but for some reason keep coming back, I'm going to give this game some crazy scores.

Ratings

Graphics: 4.0 / 5.0
Sound: 2.0 / 5.0
Control: 3.0 / 5.0
Fun: ?.? / 5.0

Graphics: I can tell where everything is, and nothing seems too bad, so I can live with this. At least it has animation, unlike those other point-and-click games.
Sound: The music is either non-existant or consists of really bad tunes that are similar to those found on Activision games.
Control: Arrow is sporatic and sometimes not "on the money". Okay, that last quote wasn't from the magazine, okay? Just for the record...
Fun: I get bored when I get lost, but someday, I'll beat this game. Until then, a Fun rating is pending.