 "Fearless Men Who Jump And Die..."
By now, many of you are unaware that a "lemming" is a rodent that lives in the tundra, that are very prone to dying, and evidentally are known to march towards the sea to drown. Whatever the case may be, some guy at Funimation decided to use anime as a medium to take that concept to a brain-screwing level.
This game is not well known, and for good reason. Well, not really any good reason. What can I say? I was unaware of it. I think it's because people were waiting for the SNES by this time in video gaming history. Bah! Kids...
Sound: There wasn't much music or anything. That, and I was rocking to Genesis while playing this game. "I won't be coming home tonight! MY GENERATION will put it right!" Control: When your day is spent moving a crosshair at little pixels on the screen, you see why controls begin to suck. However, since it was also easy to pick up on how the controls work, I was fine. Fun: I had fun with it, but replay diminishes as watching Lemmings go "SPLAT" gets tiring. If you really want to test your mettle at it, though, it's the game for thinkers and non-stupid people!  |
The game known as Lemmings stars a bunch of green-haired twig boys as they blindly walk towards anything and everything, doing stupid things such as walk off cliffs, fall into lava, drown in water, spontaneously combust, and so forth. In most games, your objective is to kill a lot of something. In this game, however, your evil ritual of sacrificing a pixelated character becomes tested, as your goal involves telling the wretches what to do to survive, and most survival tactics include playing traffic cop, artisan, and walking six-year-old Vietnam War "Charlie Bomb". Failure to do so will result in the NES calling you names, like "stupid", "retard", or "freak". And yet, if your whole day revolves around Goth Rock and you have more earrings, nose rings, and nipple rings than you do strands of hair, then you're already a freak, so the NES calling you a "freak" is like calling your French neighbor a "frog"; they don't care about your idea of them and they both stink, seeing as how they both don't take showers.
And like, when you totally waste the first level, dude, you're like "Woah!" and I'm like "Dude!" and then she's like "Shyeah!" and we're like "Awesome!", because it's totally awesome to totally storm that totally radical level, dude! Like, we were all like "Wicked A, man!" and that guy from Funcoland was like "Hey guys! You should, like, buy something and stuff!" and then we were like "Why don't you make us?" and he was like "Woah! Totally uncool, dude!" That guy had the nappy hair syndrome. So like, Lemmings tend to like, totally storm levels with their, like, "superpowers"! They're, like, radical and stuff, and that umbrella, man! It's like totally wicked in the second level when, like, your Lemmings fall and stuff, and you're like "Woah! I gosta have da munchies!" As they float down the cliffs, they ripple, man! Like, while you're at it, play, like, the Genesis album "Invisible Touch" backward, and like, Phil Colins will talk about Helter Skelter and how Charles Manson is gonna take over Alien Ant Farm's brains for the overthrow of the NRA, dude! Sounds like an evil anti-Second Amendment ploy to me! Them Lemmings and their... Oh, sorry...
Among other things, Lemmings go "SPLAT" when they hit the ground. Because of this strange phenomenon that occurs in nature, people gather around their NES to study the strange behavioral patterns of the little green-haired bipeds. That, or they just love to see things go "SPLAT". Hey, FOX knew about this more than anyone else! Why do you thing they have so many specials, like "When Canadians Attack 24" or "When Tony Hawk Sells Out 2: The Hot Bites Saga"? Ratings, my friend. This holds true to NES games as well, and it's proven time and time again, as Lemmings spawns a zillion sequels over the course of time. Of course, since it did it's best on a PC format, that's where all the sequels go. And when I say "PC", I mean "Personal Computer" and not "Political Correctness", which I don't have, fool!