 Greek Myth Proves Eggplants Are Dangerous
Ever learned the history of Ancient Greece? About how Icarus made wings out of wax, and how he got so close to the sun that the wings melted, and he fell to the ground like a 1930's stock market investor? Well, we were all taught a lie! In reality, Icarus was really this kid named Pitt, who was an angel bent on the destruction of the evil Medusa and her evil minions. Make sense? Of course it did! Nintendo knows history!
Mythology has never been as accurate. This game is a classical look at history in the eyes of Nintendo! And it's all true! Honest!
Sound: Mediocre at best. It's bad enough that you want to listen to the radio instead, but good enough because it is straight out of the olden times of Greek Gods. It's true! Control: Jumping is difficult, as Pit's wings interfere with his balance, and are aerodynamically incorrect. That, along with his fear of heights, prevents this rating from being a 4.0 at best. Fun: It's a classic NES game that has been in the top five games in the Nintendo Fun Club magazine for a long while, along with Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!!, The Legend Of Zelda, Super Mario Bros., and Metroid. It's a cross between The Legend Of Zelda and Metroid. I give it two thumbs up!  |
Basically, Pit looks like a disgruntled Cupid, and his arrow incinerated enemies. He would fight evil snakes, eyeballs, and grim reapers. And he would climb up the highest of towers to achieve his goal: destroy Medusa, the snake-haired gal who turned people to stone with her gaze. Why does Pit do it? Because Medusa, at one point, overthrew the Greek Gods and took over Greece, that's why! What? That never happened? Well, you were reading the wrong Mythology book. However, Pit couldn't fly, so he'd jump from platform to platform, often falling to his death whenever he missed one.
When he reaches the top of the tower, Pit enters a dungeon maze the likes of which none have ever seen! Like the regular levels, they have shops and stuff inside. Shopkeepers were much friendlier in Pit's day than in Link's day. Instead of yelling "BUY SOMETHING WILL YA!", they yell "HELLO! HOW MAY I HELP YOU?". It's a step up from Link's era. In the dungeons are the same enemies you face in the other levels, with the addition of the most feared enemy in Ancient Greece! Not the centaur, the minotaur, or the megataur! No, it's the evil Eggplant Wizards! They throw eggplants at people, and they turn your torso into an eggplant, which makes it so you can't attack, or see for that matter.
Fortunately, dungeons have everything Pit needs! Shops sell him goods in exchange for hearts. Quicksand-looking hot springs heal him. And when an evil Eggplant Wizard turns his torso into an eggplant, there are Eggplant Clinics! Eggplant Torso was a serious disease back in those days, and the cure was as simple as walking under the nurse. And they're free, unlike them greedy shopkeepers. And when Pit finds his way through all three dungeons, kills all three dungeon masters, and gets all three treasures from the dungeon masters' corpses, he can finally confront the evil Medusa and her Giant Eyeball Cannon!