 Bike-Related Injuries Since 1985
There are many racing games out there. Many of them have great crashes. But none offer a more whiplash-inducing, fractured-head causing, spinal-maladjusting, "I-can't-feel-my-legs" crash sensation that Excitebike can offer.
The game also features a track design mode, which makes up for the lack of a 2-player mode. It's the most fun a motorcross junkie could have without fear of personal injury.
Sound: No real music besides the theme song, and it encourages you to hurry up and select something, just to make it stop. The main sounds include what appears to be an engine revving and the biker tumbling. Control: With "A" to accelerate and "B" to hit those fire-causing afterburners, you realize there are no brakes, just speed-enhancing features. But like a crash test dummy, your biker can survive many crashes, so brakes are waste of virtual money. Fun: Though it's missing 2-players, it is still fun to get out there and "race." Crashing is fun, winning is fun, and crashing is more fun than winning. And it's not who wins or loses, but who gets themselves in the most morbid wreck man can get himself into.  |
This is the original motorcross biking game. And it was also one of the first few games for the NES. You race around a track, jumping ramps and other weird obstacles, either to beat a time or... Well, that's about it. You can race against other CPU opponents, but you don't really "race" them. Placing in an event is random, I believe, because the opponents are really just there to make you crash. It lacks a 2-player mode, which hurts the game as well. So you spend most of your time racing CPU opponents that are only there to injure you, because they know that the world of Excitebike is limited to the stadium; there are no lawyers or paramedics in the world of Excitebike.
But everytime you get into a life-ending crash, you get right up, run to your bike and race again as though nothing has happened. Why does this happen? Some think that the biker has a skeleton made out of Adamantium, the strongest metal known, and that he also has a high mutant healing factor that allows him to brush a horrific, life-threatening, head-first crash like an ant bite. Others believe that he is the world renowned Mr. Bill of Saturday Night Live fame, who gets himself into all sorts of accidents that would kill ordinary men in a split-second. But the truth is, he is made out of pixels, the most solid and stable matter known to man. That, along with the fact that he has no bones, internal organs, or any organic characteristics, allows him to get himself into back-breaking biking accidents without fear.