 Awesome!
Here's a quick personality quiz: When you are at school, does this ever happen?  Do you have the following symptoms: dizziness, nausea, bloated head, fatigue, indigestion, red-and-black patterns flash behind your head, loss of reality, feelings of chivalry, or the tendancy to yell "AWESOME"? If you do, then you must either day dream a lot or have played this game!
 Eventually, you fight Lumper, who is no longer a bully, but a lumbering oaf that's easy to beat. Here is a hint to defeat the evil Lumper:
To make a long story short, try this game out! It has all the fun of being a kid with the attention span of a clump of dirt and the imagination of a kid who's watched his last Barney episode!
Sound: Someone just bashed the keyboard a couple of hundred times to make music come out of it. After a week, Sculptured Software decided to fire the telephone-answering monkey they had working for their sound department and hire a real musician. It seemed to work. Control: I have to push two buttons to jump? What is this? Double Dragon? Give me control of the game, man! Fun: Awesome is right! In a Star Tropics-like fashion, you fight for what's right in your warped little mind! Grade-A stuff!  |
Basically it's like this: Another fun-filled day at school... Except for Davey. See, Davey has this major problem where he can't keep his grasp on reality, and tends to drift into a coma-like dream land where he fights a bully to get his pencil back, only the bully is an evil knight, the pencil is a golden lance, and you are Davey, the kid who needs sugar like Otis needs booze. With the power to warp his mind at will, Davey takes on midgit trolls, Phyrexian Debasers, and other things you'd normally find at either a Magic: The Gathering tournament or a forest from the Middle Ages. Anyhow, Lumper, the big-nosed doofus who likes to steal pencils and other school supplies from little kids just so he can look tough in front of Boy, Switch, and other kids with dopey names, steals Davey's pencil, and Davey uses his voodoo mind powers to magically warp his surroundings into a twisted forest setting.
The trick is to lure him towards you, then move a few steps down, as seen in the pic. See, Lumper lacks the ability to move anywhere but right. So when he reaches the forest wall, just slash at him facing up. It's the easiest boss to beat since that paddle on Pong! While I'm at the subject of bosses, Mega Man bosses are hard. They have cooler names than Lumper. See, when Capcom needs to make a boss for a level, they use the "____ Man" method, where they clip words out of newspapers, put them into a hat, and dig a word out to finish the sentence. Hence, we are left with "Ice Man", "Hard Man", and "20% Man". Sculptured Software, on the other hand, has to think harder about boss names. Hence, we are left with "Lumper", "Can", and "Pixel".
After you beat him with relative ease, you wake up from your semi-slumber, Lumper tries to bash you in the face, and you rush to your classroom in a cinematic fashion. There, your teacher starts yelling at you for barging in late. Then she tells you that it's art time and that you should draw... Draw... DRAW!!! That's when your mind gets warped yet again, and you end up in the Old West, where people who are supposed to be napping throw sticks of dynamite at you instead. Where people shoot at you for no reason. Where the Duke himself, John Wayne, and Brisco County, Jr. man, Bruce Campbell, both have all the stroke around these here parts. Okay, maybe they don't, but everyone else sure does. You're stuck with a whip, and not the same kind of anti-Nazi whip Indiana Jones has. Just a whip and a prayer, or a lack of sleep, or something...