 10-Yard Fight |
The bestest football game ever, featuring the most polygonal of technoligies! Featuring such actions as "throwing" and quite possibly "running"! |
 Back To The Future |
The exciting adventure of Marty McFly as he skateboards and gets his ass kicked by bullies! Bowling balls and clocks litter American streets! |
 Bad Dudes |
Based on a true story about ninjas kidnapping Ronald Reagan, and two dudes bad enough to punch said ninjas. Guest starring Karnov as a boss. |
 Blaster Master |
Learn the wonders of nuclear power as a frog grows to abnormal sizes and a kid jumps down an almost bottomless pit without breaking his spine. |
 A Boy And His Blob |
Touching story about a kid and his pet blob that eats jellybeans. Will Blobert ever find true love? Will Boy get a new name? What are in those jellybeans? |
 Bubble Bath Babes |
Intense fapping action as players try to play a puzzle game with one hand while their other hand does nasty things! You know, like eating fat-free potato chips. |
 Burger Time |
The joy of making hamburgers, made even more joyful thanks to technology! Run from sausages and eggs, and become a Burgermon Master! |
 Casino Kid |
The adventures of a kid and his problem with underaged gambling. Will he make the big bucks, or will he be somebody's bitch in prison? |
 Chubby Cherub |
Watch the elusive cherub as he flies around, eating candy that floats in the sky, avoiding dogs that want to eat him, and overall just being naked. |
 Day Dreamin' Davey |
Attention Deficit Disorder affects millions of kids. You can help save them by beating the living hell out of your kids! "Awesome!" |
 Deja Vu |
Ace Harding is suffering from amnesia, but that doesn't seem to affect his crime-solving skills that much. Remember, kids: drugs help you remember things! |
 Doki! Doki! Yuuenchi |
Japan is a magical place where you can fight clowns in an amusement park with a soccer ball. It's also where reloading a gun is somewhat homoerotic. |
 Dr. Mario |
Plumbers make the best doctors, so of course you'd trust Mario's expert opinion in medicines. Medicine works best when thrown down your throat and lining up colors to kill germs! |
 Excitebike |
BMX XXX might have been a crappy game, but take solice in the fact that motorcycles are much cooler. Horrible crashes are easy to get up from! |
 Felix |
Cats with magic bags fight randomly evil things in a world full of rectangular hills and floating milk bottles. Plus, prank calling old people is fun! |
 Friday The 13th |
An exact recreation of the movie! Watch as a bunch of teenagers throw rocks at zombies until Jason comes around and totally "pwnz j00!" |
 Ganbare Goemon - Karakuri Douchuu |
Sore wa ai ja nai. Ai wa sore ja nai. Ai shite iru kedo ai sarete wa inai. Um... Tonzura koite! |
 Golgo 13: Top Secret Episode |
Duke Togo fights international bad guys with guns and kicking. Dot dot dot dot. 20X6! |
 Gumshoe |
Use your Zapper to shoot the crap out of R.L. Stevenson as he looks for a diamond or something. Detective clothes and balloons everywhere. |
 Gun.Smoke |
Not based on the T.V. show of a similar name, Gun.Smoke is the gripping story of why shooting everybody in the Wild West is the right thing to do. |
 Hot Slots |
A game about slot machines and nudity? Where can you go wrong? Will you become a rich man with tons of naked women, or will you be selling yourself short? |
 James Bond Jr. |
Apparently, James Bond had a kid. Will this kid become the next star of Spy Kids 4: Spy Kids in Space, or will Jaws bite his face off? |
 Journey To Silius |
Fight robots in the future not unlike a certain movie about an Austrian-turned-robot-turned-Californian-governer. Explosions everywhere! |
 Kid Icarus |
A story from Ancient Greece about a kid who made wings out of Elmer's Glue and some cardboard. Can he defeat Medusa, or will the Grim Reaper make him lose a life? |
 Kid Niki: Radical Ninja |
There is nothing on this earth more radical than a ninja. Can Kid Niki earn enough money to buy a real ninja outfit, or will some other ninja flip out and kill him? |
 The Legend of Zelda |
The legend of an elf who takes a wooden sword and puts almost every monster on the endangered species list. Will PETA intervene against our animal-slaying hero? |
 Lemmings |
An education documentary on the lemming and how it likes to dig holes, walk in straight lines, and fall off of cliffs because they don't know better. Dead bodies everywhere! |
 Little Nemo: The Dream Master |
Watch in perversion as you take a glimpse into the mind of a young kid. Is that really candy in his dream, or is it something more sinister? You know, like plastic candy. |
 Maniac Mansion |
Explore a house full of freaks, kind of like The Osbournes only you can understand the words coming out of their mouths. Arcade machines everywhere! |
 Mappy-Land |
The riveting crime drama about a cop recovering stolen items from evil criminals. Did I mention that the cop is a mouse, and that the criminals are cats? Rubber bands everywhere! |
 M.C. Kids |
A clown sends two kids to do his bidding. Will our ethnically-diverse duo save the day, or will segregation kick in, forcing the kids to fight for freedom? |
 Mega Man |
Mega Man faces off against Guts Man in the epic "Robot Battle of the Century" with sponsorship in part by Dr. Wily. Is Mega Man mega and man enough? |
 Metroid |
Amazing story about a female bounty hunter who shoots things with her arm and rolls into a ball to crap bombs. Missiles everywhere! |
 Milon's Secret Castle |
The exciting action-packed tale of a boy who shoots bubbles to kill monsters, and communicates by making MIDI sounds from his mouth. Bump head to find box! |
 M.U.S.C.L.E. |
Professional wrestling at it's finest! Will the guy with the blonde hair defeat the guy with the Viking helmet, or will the Knight use a folding chair to cheat? |
 A Nightmare on Elm Street |
A serial killer is now dead, but his spirit kills people in their dreams. Will coffee keep our hero awake, or will he get strangled to death like the guy from 21 Jump Street? |
 Nightshade |
Meet the greatest superhero ever! With his powers of deduction and fisticuffs, he will defeat some bad guys! People can't say his name properly! Exclamation points everywhere! |
 Ninja Gaiden |
The path of a ninja is rong and difficurt. Haha, those crazy Japanese and their lack of "L" sounds! Ever see the movie UHF? The supplies closet gag is the best! |
 Peek-A-Boo Poker |
Poker is the most extreme sport in the world, and the most extreme part of the most extreme sport has to be the extremeness of Strip Poker. Will you get a humongoid 8-bit boner? |
 Popeye |
Robin Williams eats some spinach and kicks some squid's ass. Now that I think about it, that was the movie, not the game. Lack of Wimpy hurts everybody! |
 Princess Tomato in Salad Kingdom |
A review full of "out of place drug references" can be found here. Hahaha lolzerz i maed da drug refrenzez i m rotflmao supa l33t!11111111 |
 River City Ransom |
Two teens battle valiantly against the gangs of some city. Watch as they punch people into currency! Razzle as they eat food in one bite! Dazzle for no reason! |
 Rush'n Attack |
The title is a play on words! Get it? "Russian" and "Rush'n" sound exactly the same! Stab Commie bastards in the throat! Save Capitalism! |
 Shadowgate |
Explore the castle! Fight villainy! Drink unmarked bottles! Light torches to stay alive! Throw a rock at an ogre! And use sword on self! |
 Super Mario Bros. |
The most unnecessary review ever! Learn all about the game you've probably played a zillion times before! Step on Goombas and eat a mushroom! |
 The Three Stooges |
The comedy group that never gets old! Poke Curly in the eyes! Tear a hunk of Larry's hair off! Have hilarious mishaps at your job that would kill normal folk! |
 Uninvited |
Unbelievable story of a haunted house that wants to kill you for being alive! Take jewels from mailboxes! Use Spidercide on Spiders! Watch TV! |
 Wacky Races |
Dick Dastardly and Muttley try to win a race, but the Mean Machine breaks down! As Muttley, you must valiantly throw bombs at people! |
 Wall Street Kid |
The exciting adventures of the Stock Exchange! Buy stock! Sell stock! Profit sharing! Build your 401k plan! Percent signs! |
 World Championship Wrestling |
As one of the greatest professional wrestlers of all time, "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair, you must cheat to get to the coveted World Heavyweight Championship title! |
 WWF Wrestlemania |
As one of the worst professional wrestlers of all time, Hulk Hogan, you must try and stay alive before Ric Flair kicks your ass yet again! |
 Yo! Noid |
As the Noid, you must do something about those damn pizzas! Throw your yo-yo at people! Skateboard a little! Be totally awesome! |