How To Make An NES Site That SucksStep 1: Don't aim for gloryThis is one of the few reasons many NES sites go under. The webmaster does the site to get hits, recognition, and whatever. Believe me when I say this site gets little to no e-mail, along with getting about twenty hits a day, and that's if I'm lucky, and am barely recognized by a majority of the NES community as an actual website. I will say, however, that it's that reason alone why I see so many dead sites. When I made this site, I did it on MY TERMS! I get some hate mail, negative vibes, and other crap, but it's that same reason why this site is almost a mini-cult following of about two people. Face it, there is no perfect or glorious NES website, and if there is, they're all dead. I'd say OSG has himself a great website, and I'd go so far as say it's perfect, but I know it's not. It's the fact that he takes time to do SOMETHING with it that interests me the most. That, and his picture of that NARC machine. It's friggin' NARCtacular!!!Step 2: Some writing skill never hurtsI know I'm not the perfect writer. In fact, if you really pay attention to some of my writing, I may leave out some prepositions and conjugations along the way. However, I've always aimed for proper grammer (see that typo?), or something close to proper. The point is that you need to make yourself understandable. I gosta know what you are saying. If you ramble on about "LOL"s and "iz k00l"-type slang, only half the viewers are gonna understand. Yeah, I use terms like "gonna", "sucka", and "ain't", but I figure that if my sentences are written well enough, then those words just blend right in. That brings me to step 3...Step 3: Personality, what's that? Personality, not quite yet.Try to use yourself as the centerpoint of your writings. Don't make yourself out to be a monotoned robot, or even worse, Algore. The Unofficial World Of Nintendo has lots of great information, but it comes out dull and boring, much like a chemistry textbook. That's why a site like Seanbaby.com ends up being amazing. What it lacks in information (that will help you in real life), it makes up for in humor. Also, take this site. I don't know about you, but this site sucks. Then again, I wrote it, so whatever I write is not funny to me. However, I have friends that comment me on things like my X-Box article; on how funny it was. Whatever. I'm naturally an arrogant mofo. Point is, write your mind. If it ain't funny to you, it may be to someone else.Step 4: H-T-M-L, and you're to blame! Oh, you give love a bad name!It took me three years of tinkering with Angelfire's Web Shell to actually figure out what the hell I was doing. I've worked on at least three other sites (all non-NES) before I made this piece of crap called NES Horsemen. One was a website about professional wrestling's great Four Horsemen, complete with Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Ole Anderson, and Tully Blanchard. It was one of those sites that had no sections, no formatting, nothing. In other words, it's a default basic Angelfire webpage unedited. Another was a combination NES/Four Horsemen/Magic: The Gathering website. I figured out how to make tables, sections, and whatnots. The problem was that it was too large to actually work with, and was turning into a boring information page I hate so much. Another... Well, let's put it this way. It's on an indefinite hiatus, and it's an Angelfire page. If you find it, it still has all of it's sections, links, and stuff on it, with it's last update on July. If you find it, good for you. This site is a product of all of those site's HTML screwing techniques, and so explains my HTML skills. It's not great, but it's a lot better than the boring old single page Angefire look. I don't use those strange "cut-&-paste" Java deals like Geocities and Homestead have. I have to use HTML. You find out what's best for your needs, but it's better if you find out some HTMLin'. A great place would be HTML Goodies. It took me two years of meddling with HTMLs until I figured out there were websites that teach HTML. Don't let that happen to you.Step 5: Become an Original PranksterI'll be the first to admit that this site ain't that original. The only original I have would be the writings and the images, but overall, the genre is unoriginal. As a humor site, this place fails miserably, but is credited by one or two people to be successful nonetheless. The point is, no matter how original you want to be, there's someone out there that's done it already. Therefore, be as original as possible with your writing and imaging skills. They will help seperate your site from all of the others.Step 6: Picture this!Images are a neat thing. I'd refrain from stealing them if I were you, unless otherwise noted. Many people strive to get images for their sites, and their work gets used by other's for lesser projects. A large majority of the NES screenshots and doctored pics are original. Some, like movie and cartoon pics, are taken from other sites, then doctored. So I ain't perfect. But I know when I'm "using" something and when I'm all-out "stealing" material from another site. Hate emulators? I do too. However, they may be the only way to get images, unless you want to use a video capture thingy with all them doodads and whatnots. Then again, I'm a cheap ass, so I'll stick with emulators. They ain't for play; they're for show.Step 7: Doctor! Doctor! Can't you see I'm burnin', burnin'?Imaging programs. Get aquainted with them, because you're gonna need something to show to the general public. I personally use programs such as MS Paint for doctoring .BMP files, BMPToGif Pro to turn .BMP files into really small .GIF files, and UnFREEz to make animated .GIF files. You should have MS Paint already, but BMPToGif and UnFREEz are freewares that you can probably find on your own. They help me lots.Step 8: Don't listen to them twerps!Actually, take some things into consideration. From past experience, most people's suggestions fall apart. It's nice to take some input, but don't let that control your site. Take, for example, my reviews on Metroid and Blaster Master. They are now symbols of how using too much input can damper your site. Not the material in general, but the negative attitude received from the people that suggested I reviewed both them games. I, along with them, got over it. Now they're statues of failure on my part. Also, people that say "This site sucks ass!" or something similar are not to be listened to PERIOD. Don't let one guy get in your head. Do things on your terms or I, along with the entire NES Horsemen staff (uh, that means me and maybe Yajirobe, who makes guest appearances for no reason), will fart on your face. We'll even eat pork AND beans to speed up the process. To review, do th...Step 54: I don't know what's going on!Update regularly. I try my best to update every now and then, and only when I have some material to put up. If you're intent on making a website, it's best that you fit time into your busy, or lazy, schedule to ensure that you can update every now and then.Step 55: My eyes hurtMake a nice layout for your site. Add a menu, tack on some nice font, whatever. Don't use Angelfire's "Methods of Basic Layout", because they suck and......p 156: Make friends the Eddie Money way!Know at least one person in the NES community. I didn't. I resorted to the general video game community for getting into the NES community. I haven't even met anyone from the NES community up until RandX at nes El33t, and even then I'm still stumped. Try to find your way, young one...And that's how to make an NES site! Don't give up! And don't do drugs! They are a dead end! Go Back |